I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
