i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize