The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
