Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
