nutella sex= disaster
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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