i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
