I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize