I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize