i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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