3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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