i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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