Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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