i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Randomize
