I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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