Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
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I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
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when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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