I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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