Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
