When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
