legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
