ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
