i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
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We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
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Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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