There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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