i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
