you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
