so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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