you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
