Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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