Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
