i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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