I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
