He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
