Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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