We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize