I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
