Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
worst night to have a conscience
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
