CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
