Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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