i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
