She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
