is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You need a sexual gate keeper
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Randomize
