We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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