I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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