i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
