I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
