Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
