y did u give ur computer a hand job?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
