I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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