do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
