I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
