So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
he had hair everywhere except his balls
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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