I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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