So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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