You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
