so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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