Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
A+ Viking dick
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