I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
