woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
