He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
