Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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