then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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