I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
