we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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