I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You are the jesus of drinking
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
